Greg Dean was right. You just really can’t talk about JJ Abram’s Star Trek without spoiling something in the movie. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. It just means that the movie is that much loaded with moments perfect for pop-corn entertainment. Having said all that, here’s the obligatory warning for those who may, for some reason or another, have not seen the movie yet:

SPOILERS AHEAD!

There.

What we liked:

First off, we love the pace. It definitely is a summer movie. The film shifts from action sequence to action sequence and never gives the viewer a chance to even think about saying “get on with it.” Even the cinematography is affected by the plot’s pace, with close-up shaky-cam shots, lens flares, and glare-all-over-the-place lighting. Even in the moments where the camera calms down to spare your brain (that is probably already in sensory overload from the beautiful CG), characters show up that eat and energize the scene all on their own.

Speaking of the characters, each member of the crew gets a chance to shine. Each get scenes that explain why they get the role they fill in the 1966 TV series. Each gets a chance to work with running gag or an in-joke that Trekkies know and love — from Uhura’s missing first name, to Scotty telling the captain that the ship’s “giving it all she’s got.” For fans of the original, the “explanation” sequences are a real treat.

“Why did you get your post son?” “Sir, Badassitudeness sir!”

It’s not all for the hard-core Trekkies though, as each actor re-interprets their character, and adds something that is either their own, or something that is familiar to everyone. Something that is perfect for the new audience that this movie is obviously trying to attract. Seriously, when Quinto’s Spock was strangling the young Kirk, I was half-expecting him to whip out his finger and slice Kirk’s cranium open. Despite that, I was still sold on the idea that this new guy IS Spock. The actors contribute to the character’s legend, and put in enough of the old, that their performances are more of a recognition, than a parody of what’s gone before.

Some characters shine more than others though. They can’t help it. They just steal each and every scene when they’re there. Fortunately the writers were smart enough to have the scene stealers, Scotty and Old Spock, er, Leonard-Nimoy-Spock, show up way past the half-way mark of the film. The exception to this is Karl Urban. He was awesome, and he was there from the start.

Despite the badasstitudeness of each member, and even though the film is saturated with minor folks getting heroic bits, you’re never really distracted from the core of the film: Spock and Kirk, and how they get to be the people you know them to be.

Also, just in case you’re wondering, a red shirt dies. Some traditions must be upheld! FUN FUN FUN!

Basically, more fun in general; less of the notorious “slowness.” Of course, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t debates about how a Fedration Officer should proceed given a certain situation. It’s just that the conflicts in this movie are more condensed and is shown to us the way contemporary folks would go about it: in-your-face arguments. This makes the world more vibrant, more alive.

Random people in this film feel more natural and relatable to than say other random folks from the many previous TV incarnations of the Utopian lifestyle within the Federation. Even though the Federation is still a voluntary, moneyless, utopia, horny green-skinned alien chicks bring home guys, academy jocks have too much testosterone, and said random red shirt dude (RIP) gets on a ‘roid rage before missions. To quote: “I can’t wait to kick Romulan Butt!”

To top all that, we’re pleased with the confirmation of the Spock x Uhura theory that some Trekkies harbor; as they’ve claimed ever since those early episodes where the lady flirted with the alien: It’s a pairing that’s only logical.

Before we end this section, just to get the elephant in the room out of the way, yes yaoi/boyxboy love fans, Kirk and Spock still look hot together. There.

What we disliked:

Not much, really, but we try anyway.

The Romulan mining ship looks like a headwhisk (will explain in a future article).

Most of the new Enterprise bridge looks like it was made from the corpses of dead iPods. We understand it’s an honest attempt to capture the original bridge’s design sense and modernize it, but still, because of the current culture enamel white = iPod.

Mass quantities of Red-Matter produce roughly a same size singularity as a single droplet.

The appearance of the Mining vessel in the past triggered a sequence of events that led to Scotty having a mutated hobbit for an engineering bay companion. Yay Butterfly Effect!

Overall, the movie is a fun ride with enough hints at the serious side of things just so you can’t blame it of being mindless, and just enough explosions and adolescent gags (really, was the car destruction scene anything other than that?) to keep viewers on edge, if not slack-jawed.